Jimmy Kimmel

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January 6th Insurrectionists Charged While Ted Cruz & Marjorie Taylor Greene Push Wild Theories

January 6th Insurrectionists Charged While Ted Cruz & Marjorie Taylor Greene Push Wild Theories

Jimmy talks about driving to work this morning and amusing himself during the pandemic, Joe Biden gave an update about the availability of COVID tests, the January 6th Storm Trumpers are finally getting rounded up and the Justice Department charges 11 people with “seditious conspiracy,” Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green and Senator Ted Cruz continue to push bananas conspiracy theories about who was responsible for the insurrection, a new patch is being developed to help men last longer in bed, a collegiate baseball team in Portland is doing damage control thanks to their new mascot, and This Week in Unnecessary Censorship.

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Trump Shades “Gutless” DeSantis Over Booster Comments & Cannabis for COVID!

Trump Shades “Gutless” DeSantis Over Booster Comments & Cannabis for COVID!

Omicron cases are soaring and researchers at Oregon State University believe they may have found a natural way to fight off the virus, a lot of teachers have been calling in sick and schools are asking parents to come in as substitutes, United Airlines announced that 3,000 of their employees tested positive, the Premier of Quebec is going to start taxing people who refuse to get vaxxed and Canada has some travel recommendations of their own for Americans, Trump stopped by OAN, to vax poetic, slam Joe Biden, and even take shots at his fellow Republicans, Novak Djokovic violated Australia’s vaccine mandate ahead of the Australian Open, Pope Francis was seen out and about in Rome buying a CD at a record shop, and with so many Americans playing doctor these days we took to the street to ask men what they know about women’s bodies.

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jimmy kimmel

Tucker Carlson’s Christmas Meltdown, Newsmax Requires COVID Vaccines & Trump’s Legal Woes

COVID cases in Los Angeles are up more than 100% in the last week and the Omicron variant is on the rise across the USA, companies are resuming Christmas parties and Newsmax employees must show proof of vaccination, Tucker Carlson is playing the victim in regards to people destroying religious symbols like Christmas trees and Laura Ingraham is lashing out at a totally non-political show – the live versions of “The Facts of Life” and “Diff’rent Strokes,” Hillary Clinton launched a MasterClass on “resilience” largely about losing to Donald Trump, the attorney general of New York plans to subpoena Trump about widespread fraud at his organization, Senator Ron Johnson from Wisconsin is offering tips to ward off the virus without a vaccine, drug companies are doing their best to cash in on the next generation of anti-vaxxers, and we open up our corona time capsule once again for “This Week in COVID History.”

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Karens Sing Christmas Carols

Karen-mania has been sweeping the country for the last year and a half, and here in Hollywood there is a new musical review across the street called “A Christmas Karen,” so we invited the cast over to give a sample of what they do best.

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Trump Under Criminal Investigation & Republicans Fight to Forget the Insurrection

Billions of cicadas will emerge in more than a dozen U.S. states and one guy is ready to eat them, the New York Attorney General’s office has informed Donald Trump that his organization is now under criminal investigation even though he thinks he can do whatever he wants, he sat down for an interview with OAN and is still whining about the election, Fox News is asking to dismiss a 1.6 billion dollar lawsuit filed against them by Dominion Voting Systems, the House voted to create an independent commission to look into the January 6th attack…

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Jimmy Kimmel Pulls Best Prank Ever on Cousin Micki

Jimmy’s cousin Micki is easily one of the kindest, most considerate and genuinely good people ever. In addition to being nice beyond reason, she is also fun to play pranks on. Five years ago Micki and her husband Eric bought their first house from a woman named Carol who chose them over several other people who made higher offers. As a show of gratitude, Micki invited her to come back and use the house anytime. Many years later Micki still keeps in touch with Carol always inviting her to visit, always welcoming, always thankful. So, Jimmy had some free time over the summer, made a fake email address for Carol, and set in motion what is perhaps the greatest prank he has ever pulled.

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Naughty or Nice with Jimmy Kimmel & Guillermo

Jimmy and Guillermo have an annual tradition where they do temp work as elves to help Santa figure out which kids deserve what. They couldn’t do it in person this year but they do have computers so they buckled up their pointy shoes and got down to Christmas business. This edition features a young boy named Lincoln, who might be up for a job at the North Pole too.

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Fauci on a Couchi

In addition to new warnings from the CDC, the National Institute of Health is turning to private industry to help keep safety at top of mind this holiday season. Introducing Fauci on a Couchi!

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Trump Really Thinks He Can Stay in the White House

The Northeast got hit by a huge snowstorm, Vice President Mike Pence plans to get the vaccine on television, Trump is floating the idea of refusing to leave office, the Mayor of Atlantic City is auctioning off a chance to blow up one of Trump’s former casinos, a list of COVID-themed baby names that will never see the light of day, a special gift from Jimmy & Guillermo, a holiday themed edition of Masking Questions, and Jimmy interviews 9-year-old Daniel & his mom Danielle from Brooklyn after seeing a very funny video of him cursing about the F**king lockdown.

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Trump Cementing Legacy as the Pettiest Bitch the World Has Ever Known

Jimmy’s three-year-old son Billy has been waking him up in the middle of the night, day 43 of #Squattergate is upon us as our dear misleader is throwing temper tantrums saying he may refuse to leave the White House, neighbors in Palm Beach don’t want Trump to make Mar-a-Lago his permanent residence following Inauguration Day, presidential pardons are in the air, Melania has a Christmas calendar, a holiday classic gets an update for 2020, a sad ornament you can buy at CVS, and Jimmy & Guillermo dress like elves for a new Naughty or Nice.

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Even Vladimir Putin & Mitch McConnell Know Trump Lost

Kylie Jenner & Kanye West topped the Forbes list of highest paid celebrities in 2020, day 42 of #Squattergate is upon us despite the Electoral College making it official for Joe Biden, Mitch McConnell and Vladimir Putin both sent their congratulations to the new President-Elect as Trump and his staff continue to claim election fraud, Mayor Pete Buttigieg got a nomination for Secretary of Transportation by Joe Biden, Ivanka Trump considers a run for US Senate in Florida, an exciting solution for your cancelled office holiday party, and the Chanucorn returns to prove that he is real once and for all!

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Trump Turns Down COVID Vaccines & Ted Cruz Can’t Handle the Truth

Jimmy talks about the color of the year announcement, the Trump Administration passing on the chance to get an additional 100 million doses of the COVID-19 vaccines, everyone lying throughout the pandemic, half of Americans wanting to “wait and see” before they get the vaccine, YouTube taking down videos that claim the election was fraud, Trump’s terrible record in court and asking Ted Cruz to argue on his behalf in front of SCOTUS, a new product from MyPillow, and to commemorate the first night of Hanukkah we take to the street for a round of “Jewish Holiday or Prescription Medication!”

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EXCLUSIVE – Stormy Daniels Details Sex with Donald Trump

In Stormy’s first interview for her new book Full Disclosure she talks about meeting Donald Trump in Lake Tahoe, the details of the night they spent together in his hotel room, demonstrates how she spanked him with a magazine, witnessing a phone call he had with Hillary Clinton, reveals what she found in his bathroom, why she prayed for death during sex with him, and picks which mushroom resembles Trump’s penis the most from a line-up Jimmy provided for her.

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Smoking Chair Girls

Top Deals

Valdes-Scantling, M. – GB (WR)

2021 fantasy player outlook for Marquez Valdes-Scantling, WR, Green Bay Packers (6/23) Advice: Despite a career year in 2020, Marquez Valdes-Scantling is no more than a late-round dart throw in a Fantasy league. His best format is Best Ball, because of his big weekly upside that is nearly impossible to predict. Last year he had four games with at least 19 Fantasy points and five games with 19 or fewer yards. As long as Davante Adams is earning a 30% target share and the running backs are as involved as they have been, it will be difficult for any receiver to earn a large target share in Green Bay, especially one with Valdes-Scantling’s downfield skill set. The addition of Amari Rodgers in the draft could further limit Valdez-Scantling’s opportunities. (CBSSports.com)
ADP: 11.11 — 15.10
More: Highlights | Draft Scout | Contract | Profile | Stats | News | Depth Chart | Discussion | Shop
Born: October 10, 1994, St. Petersburg, FL

Beckham Jr., O. – Cle (WR)

2021 fantasy player outlook for Odell Beckham, WR, Cleveland Browns (6/23) Advice: Once a megastar, Odell Beckham is now no more than a No. 3 Fantasy receiver who shouldn’t be drafted before Round 7. Beckham is working his way back from yet another major injury and simply hasn’t been the same player in Cleveland. Beckham has reach 100 yards just twice in 23 games with the Browns as his catch rate has fallen 10% since his days as a Giant and his targets per game have fallen more than 25%. Even if Beckham were to regain every ounce of athleticism he once had, Kevin Stefanski’s system and the Browns’ crowded group of pass catchers would still limit the receiver’s upside. At 29 years old, he could still have a few good years left, but you should look to trade him in Dynasty if he gets off to a fast start in 2021. (CBSSports.com)
ADP: 3.01 — 7.06
More: Highlights | Draft Scout | Contract | Profile | Stats | News | Depth Chart | Discussion | Shop
Born: November 5, 1992, Baton Rouge, LA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4MzXwLSLzw

Michael Carter Highlights

North Carolina RB Michael Carter
Senior 5’8 199 lbs

North Carolina had one of the coldest RB duos in the country with Javonte Williams & Michael Carter. Both are expected to be drafted within the first couple rounds of the 2021 NFL Draft. Carter is the smaller back, but very quick & shifty. That doesn’t mean he’s not strong. He runs much bigger than he is. He’s a dual-threat playmaker from the backfield.

EXCLUSIVE – Stormy Daniels Details Sex with Donald Trump

In Stormy’s first interview for her new book Full Disclosure she talks about meeting Donald Trump in Lake Tahoe, the details of the night they spent together in his hotel room, demonstrates how she spanked him with a magazine, witnessing a phone call he had with Hillary Clinton, reveals what she found in his bathroom, why she prayed for death during sex with him, and picks which mushroom resembles Trump’s penis the most from a line-up Jimmy provided for her.

Top 5 Rookie Quarterbacks for 2021 Fantasy Football Season

The quarterback position was obviously the big story of the 2021 NFL Draft. With QBs making up each of the first three picks and a total of five going off the board in Round 1, this year’s draft could change the makeup of the NFL for years to come.
But with few of these rookie guaranteed to open the season with starting jobs, who can we trust in fantasy football?
Here are the top-five fantasy football rookie quarterbacks for 2021.

Painting Things As They Are: A Conversation with Deborah Brown

It’s been over a year since Covid-19 has been hitting the headlines but it’s about this time in 2020 when our lives started getting directly affected by what was coming up. Whether it’s technical issues, supply problems, mobility concerns, or even the lack of motivation, the new state of things forced or encourage a shift of focus for a lot of creatives from the standard field of interest to the new horizons.

Trump News Won’t Go Away – Corden Catch-Up

Some of our favorite monologue moments from the first week of February, including Trump’s apathetic resignation letter from SAG-AFTRA, a totally real job offer for Jeff Bezos, and new Nike footwear that’s off to the laces!

Everett, G. – Sea (TE)

2021 fantasy player outlook for Gerald Everett, TE, Seattle Seahawks (6/23) Advice: For Gerald Everett to become a Fantasy stud, he’ll have to do some things he’s never done before, like score more than three touchdowns and get over 450 yards in a single season. Everett’s arrival to the Emerald City may provide some optimism, particularly since his tall, athletic frame may very well fit in with the rest of Russell Wilson’s targets. Familiarity with new offensive play-caller Shane Waldron helps too. But he’s the owner of three career games of 70-plus yards and eight touchdown visits over four seasons, and he’s almost certainly going to be no better than the third-best target week after week. Spend a late-round pick on Everett if you’re looking for a cheap starting tight end to begin the season. (CBSSports.com)

Haleiwa Beach House

This is my absolute new favorite restaurant on the entire island. I came on vacation and made the mistake of staying in a tourist tap in Waikiki. Stuck with mediocre food. I found the beach house restaurant and was so happy I did. Between the vibe this place has during sunset and the delicious food. I had the curry dinner it was delish. Wishing this restaurant the best of luck and we will be back once the lockdown is complete. If you’re on the island this is must eat at.

How To Make The Best Mojito

Mojito

White Rum | Lime Juice | Simple Syrup | Mint | Soda Water

12 Best Golf Courses To Play in Las Vegas

Las Vegas golf courses have it all, with a range of course designers from Jack Nicklaus, Rees Jones, Pete Dye and Tom Fazio to name but a few – from lush green parkland to stark desert courses this entertainment mecca has a surprisingly wide choice of golf to choose from. We did the research and here are 12 of the best golf courses to play in Las Vegas, according to GolfNow.com.

Crowder, J. – NYJ (WR)

2021 fantasy player outlook for Jamison Crowder, WR, New York Jets (6/23) Advice: At the time of publication, Jamison Crowder remains with the Jets, but there’s a chance he could be released or traded prior to training camp because his cap charge is a team-high $11.4 million, including a non-guaranteed $10 million base salary. The Jets also drafted his potential replacement in rookie receiver Elijah Moore, as well as adding Corey Davis and Keelan Cole this offseason. Now, if Crowder remains in New York, it wouldn’t be a surprise to see him still be the Jets’ top slot receiver — and top receiver overall, like he was in 2020 despite appearing in just 12 games. He scored at least 11 PPR points in seven of those outings, and he’s a better Fantasy option in PPR. We’ll see how Crowder does with new quarterback Zach Wilson, but Crowder should be worth drafting with a mid-round pick in PPR and a late-round selection in non-PPR leagues. And even if Crowder changes teams, his Fantasy value will likely be the same given his ability to be one of the top slot receivers in the NFL over the past two seasons. (CBSSports.com)
ADP: 7.01 — 11.10
More: Highlights | Draft Scout | Contract | Profile | Stats | News | Depth Chart | Discussion | Shop
Born: June 17, 1993, Monroe, NC

Williams, T. – Det (WR)

2021 fantasy player outlook for Tyrell Williams, WR, Detroit Lions (6/23) Advice: After missing all of 2020 recovering from significant shoulder surgery, Tyrell Williams will vie to be among the Lions’ top receiving options in training camp this summer. It wasn’t too long ago when Williams was a key figure in the Chargers passing game, speeding downfield and using his tall, lanky frame to win contested catches. He was doing that for then-head coach Anthony Lynn, who is Williams’ offensive playcaller now. Detroit figures to be playing from behind a bunch, and even with Jared Goff at quarterback, Williams has a really good shot to post his second-ever season with 70-plus targets. Heck, 100 targets is even in range provided he stays healthy and on the first-team offense through the preseason. Williams carries mild appeal as a bench receiver worth looking at starting in Round 12. (CBSSports.com)
More: Highlights | Draft Scout | Contract | Profile | Stats | News | Depth Chart | Discussion | Shop

Officer Michael Fanone received threatening, expletive-laced voicemail as he testified about Jan. 6

WASHINGTON — Metropolitan Police Officer Michael Fanone, who suffered a heart attack and traumatic brain injury after being violently assaulted Jan. 6, received a threatening, expletive-laced voicemail on his cellphone as he testified Tuesday about his experience during the Capitol riot.

“I could slap you up the side of your head with a backhand and knock you out, you little f—–,” the caller said in his message, which Fanone shared on CNN.

“I wish they would have killed all you scumbags, ’cause you people are scum,” the man, who used homophobic and racist slurs in his message, continued after repeating former President Donald Trump’s false claim that the presidential election was stolen.

“They stole the election from Trump and you know that, you scumbag. And f—ing too bad they didn’t beat the s— out of you more,” the caller said.

https://chiefswire.usatoday.com/lists/kansas-city-chiefs-2021-7-round-mock-draft-trading-down-with-carolina-panthers/

Chiefs 2021 7-round mock draft v3.0: Trading down from first round

There are just 18 days to go until the 2021 NFL draft.

Each Monday leading up to the draft, I’ll be presenting a new 7-round mock draft scenario with a different theme. This week, we’re doing something that Brett Veach hasn’t done before during his tenure as general manager of the Kansas City Chiefs. We’re going to trade down and out of the first round of the draft.

24 Best Gin Cocktails to Shake, Stir, & Sip

Gin cocktails can range from refreshing sips featuring mint leaves, tonic water, and lemon simple syrup to the bold and bitter, like a Negroni made with dry gin, dry vermouth, and Campari.

Disturbing Things We Ignore About Tom Cruise’s Life Today

Tom Cruise is easily one of Hollywood’s highest-paid actors with an estimated yearly salary of $50 million and an impressive $600 million net worth. But, if his epic COVID-19 rant on the December 2020 set of Mission: Impossible 7 has shown us anything, it’s that he’s also one of the most controversial. Audio of Cruise yelling at staffers for allegedly not following COVID-19 protocols quickly went viral, but things got awkward when TMZ noted that he himself was not following guidelines. As it turns out, the valve mask Cruise was wearing is not recommended by the CDC because it allows potentially infected droplets to leave the mask.

The ‘Audit’ Trying to Steal Arizona for Trump Just Got Suspended From Twitter

The official account of the Arizona audit has been shut down permanently by Twitter for violating its rules on “platform manipulation and spam.”

Just like those conducting and cheerleading the sham recount in Maricopa County, the Arizona audit Twitter account had been spreading lies and conspiracy theories about the election being stolen from former president Donald Trump.

8 Whiskeys Perfect for Sipping Around the Campfire

Curling up to the campfire with a cup of whiskey speaks to our ideal summer evening. It provides warmth, and there is just something about sipping whiskey in the dark around a campfire that simply makes us happy.

A tale of two chambers: Trump’s power holds in House, wanes in Senate

The infrastructure debate dominating Capitol Hill this summer is highlighting the sharp contrast between the chambers when it comes to the influence of former President Trump over the GOP.

Nearly 20 Senate Republicans, including Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.), broke with Trump this week to support a massive infrastructure package, providing President Biden with a big win and reflecting the diminishing hold his predecessor has on the upper chamber.

But the story is likely to be much different in the House, where Trump retains a muscular grip and GOP leaders have deemed his support vital to both the party’s prospects of winning back the chamber and their individual aspirations for rising in the leadership ranks.

Drink Recipes

Not sure what you want to drink? Looking for something special to make? Here’s our full list of cocktails from which to choose.

Bipartisan group reaches agreement on $1.2 trillion “hard” infrastructure bill

After weeks of long nights and endless Zoom calls, a bipartisan group of senators finally reached a deal on “the major issues” in their $1.2 trillion “hard” infrastructure package, GOP senators involved in the talks announced Wednesday.

Why it matters: It could be days before the group finishes writing the bill, but the Senate can begin debating the legislation in earnest now that they have resolved the outstanding issues. The bill needs 60 votes to advance in the Senate.

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