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Jimmy Kimmel Live
Guest Host Chelsea Handler talks about the explosive hearing in Washington where a top aide to Trump’s Chief of Staff painted an unflattering portrait of Donald’s behavior on Jan 6th, Rudy Giuliani making the rounds claiming he was assaulted over the weekend, Tucker Carlson worrying about all the wrong things as Democracy hangs by a thread, Jeffrey Epstein’s wing woman Ghislaine Maxwell being sentenced to 20 years in prison, plus Chelsea clears up rumors about being on Epstein’s flight logs and reveals that she ended up at a dinner with Epstein and Woody Allen, and she talks about her high school refusing to induct her into the alumni hall of fame because of how much she talks about abortion, pro-lifers posting pictures of themselves with signs saying “We Will Adopt Your Baby,” OJ Simpson giving his thoughts on abortion, and a new female-focused restaurant chain that Chelsea probably shouldn’t have agreed to be the spokesperson for.
On Friday night we conducted a very dumb experiment and asked people to tweet at Steph Curry before halftime saying that he had eaten a bug and a lot of people did, episode two of “CSI Can’t Believe Donald Trump’s Not in Jail Yet” took place in Washington, every reasonable person in Trump’s orbit told him he lost the election, an “apparently inebriated” Rudy Giuliani gave Donny the bone-headed idea to declare victory on election night, we help make the hearings a little more interesting with some filters, former Attorney General Bill Barr said Trump had become “detached from reality,” Andy Biggs of Arizona believes we have bigger chips to fry, Vladimir Putin reportedly travels with a suitcase to poop in, the Tony Awards took place in New York last night, and country music Superstar Luke Combs has managed to turn one of his hobbies into a lucrative endorsement deal.
Ted Cruz is claiming that America has a door problem instead of a gun problem, the Attorney General in Texas wants to arm teachers, Tucker
The Celtics & Warriors kick off the NBA Finals in San Francisco, Laura Ingraham of Fox News is blaming gun violence on marijuana, Garbage-person Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia has been trying to pin some of the blame on those who support the LGBTQ+ community, Sarah Palin is keeping busy warning viewers of Fox News that the Democrats are trying to kill them, Donald Trump Jr’s official online store is pushing products that are “designed and embroidered in the USA” but actually made in places like China, Nicaragua and El Salvador, the company in charge of Elvis Presley’s brand has ordered wedding chapels in Nevada to stop using Elvis in their ceremonies, and we take to the street to confuse people with the first of what we hope will be many editions of “Breaking the News.”
Guillermo is back from COVID quarantine, thousands of flights were canceled over the weekend due to COVID and other issues, the NRA held their annual
Jimmy makes his triumphant return after a second round with COVID, shares the signs his kids Jane and Billy made for him, takes a cognitive quiz to make sure his brain is firing at its normal speed, another health crisis called Monkeypox is on the way, Kellyanne Conway is back with a book about her time as Donald Trump’s henchwoman, Rudy Giuliani took part in the “Celebrate Israel Parade” in NYC and took some time to have a conversation with a heckler, Russia has released a list of 963 Americans who are banned from visiting the country, Starbucks announced they will be ending their brand presence in Russia, we’re down to the Final Four in the NBA playoffs, and we look back to remember life during lockdown in a May edition of “This Month in COVID History.”
The Senate failed to pass an abortion rights bill on a shocking and unfathomable day in our nation’s history, Jimmy uses some visual aids to explain how dumb some of the arguments were, Republican candidates want to make sure everyone knows they are pro-life with a few notable exceptions, Trump reportedly asked his national security team if China was creating hurricanes and shooting them at us, newly-leaked audio of Lindsey Graham recorded just after the attack on the Capitol reveals that he was looking forward to the calming presence of Joe Biden, Mike Pence is on the road complaining about the high price of gas, Bill Gates announced that he tested positive for COVID, Mattel is rolling out a Barbie that comes with hearing aids, and our in-house movie critic Yehya reviews Marvel Studios’ Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.
There is a nationwide shortage of baby formula in the US, Elon Musk says that he will reverse Trump’s Twitter ban if his deal to buy the company goes through, Trump claims he no longer has any of the cell phones that were subpoenaed by the State of New York, the January 6th Committee has questioned almost a thousand people and are reportedly still on the fence about interviewing Trump or Pence, Dr. Oz is running for Senate and is trying very hard to be a MAGA Republican, OAN has finally been forced to fess up and run a segment admitting there was “no widespread voter fraud” perpetrated by Georgia election workers in 2020, the trailer for Avatar: Way of Water has been released with a familiar superstar addition to the cast, MMA light heavyweight Joel Bauman delivered a very honest post-fight interview, Tom Brady has lined up his next gig, and Jimmy chats with a textbook reviewer from Florida about what doesn’t fall in line with their idea of “family values.”
Jimmy makes his triumphant return after being out last week with COVID! He names all the people that he didn’t hear from while he was home with the virus, his 7-year-old daughter Jane was disappointed that she didn’t receive any gifts on Mother’s Day, Joe Biden and Donald Trump posted very different messages for Mother’s Day, former Secretary of Defense Mark Esper was on “60 Minutes” with some unbelievable stories about his time working with Trump, and Aunt Chippy gives her do’s and don’ts of what to give Mom on Mother’s Day.
Jimmy was in Washington DC over the weekend presenting the Mark Twain Prize to Jon Stewart, Marjorie Taylor Greene is getting sued by a group of her constituents who believe she is ineligible to run for re-election after her role in the January 6th attacks, the state of New York is holding Trump in civil contempt for his refusal to comply with a subpoena from the state attorney general, we are learning more about the what went down at the White House in the days leading up to the insurrection thanks to a trove of text messages from Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy got caught in a big lie that could get his Mar-A-Lago membership revoked, Elon Musk bought Twitter today for 44 million dollars, Trump claims he won’t rejoin because of “Truth Social,” all the nuts gathered at a Trump rally in Ohio over the weekend, and Piers Morgan sits down with Trump in what turns out to be a very revealing interview.
Heavily researched. Thoroughly vetted.
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Eating well shouldn’t feel like work.