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Watching Fox News Can Kill You, New Study Finds
Photo Credit: Hush Naidoo Jade
In a shocking revelation, a recent study has found that watching Fox News is detrimental to your health. The study, conducted by a team of famous researchers at the University of Sextinghton, found that individuals who regularly watched Fox News were significantly more likely to suffer from a range of health issues.
According to the study, people who watched Fox News for more than an hour a week were 50% more likely to develop diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease compared to those who didn’t watch Fox News at all. The study also found that Fox News viewers were more likely to suffer from mental illness and had a higher risk of dying from cancer.
But the most surprising finding of the study was the discovery of a new condition called ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ (TDS). The researchers found that people who watched Fox News for more than an hour a week were 10 times more likely to develop TDS, a condition that leads to delusional positions on world views and current events.
The study on TDS showed that people who watched Fox News for more than an hour a week performed worse than monkeys in knowing about common issues in society. The researchers were shocked to find that even monkeys had a better understanding of climate change and healthcare policy than Fox News viewers with TDS.
The study’s lead author, Dr. Trumpino, said, “We were surprised by the extent of the negative health effects associated with watching Fox News. We recommend that people avoid watching Fox News altogether to protect their health and well-being.”
Fox News, however, has dismissed the study’s findings as “fake news” and accused the researchers of having a political bias. In a statement, a Fox News spokesperson said, “This so-called study is a pathetic attempt to discredit Fox News and our viewers. We stand by our reporting and will continue to provide fair and balanced news to our loyal audience.”
This is a satirical article